Cate Blanchett stars in Eli Roth’s quirky sci-fi comedy

The vast field of movies and TV shows derived from video games includes blockbusters like Sonic the Hedgehog and The Super Mario Bros. Movie, long-running franchises like Resident Evil, and audience-acclaimed favorites like The Last of Us. Many were commercially well-received, and even flops like the critically panned Assassin’s Creed did decent business internationally. But there are just as many that would have been better left on consoles, like the role-playing first-person shooter Borderlands. Humor isn’t typically Eli Roth’s forte, but neither is the constant bang-a-pow of gunfights, explosions and violence in this hackneyed and stubbornly uninspired sci-fi action comedy.

The big mystery is how such a noisy, boring movie could have such a star-studded cast, led by Cate Blanchett, with as much conviction as the material is worth. Borderlands was shot in 2021, just before Blanchett shot Tar, which was a real upgrade. Tim Miller oversaw the 2023 reshoots, as Ross was due to film over Thanksgiving.

To be fair, the project that Blanchett and other big name screenwriters signed on to might have gone a little differently given the number of screenwriters attached, most notably The Last of Us co-creator and co-writer Craig Mazin, who reportedly chose to remove his name from the project. Screenwriting credits ultimately went to Ross and first-time collaborator Joe Crombie, though some speculate the latter may have been a pseudonym.

In the opening solar system screensaver, we learn that an advanced alien race known as the Eridians once ruled the galaxy, and that the extinct civilization’s vast knowledge – including weapons technology – is believed to be hidden in a vault on the planet Pandora.

A prophecy says that one day Pandora’s daughter will open the vault and restore order to a planet devastated by the mining companies’ wars. Today, Pandora is a burnt wasteland of industrial and toxic chemical waste, inhabited by vile scavengers, violent gangs, bandit bandits, vault hunters, and the oppressive Crimson Lance militia. Pandora is also home to the fearsome Thresher, a vicious monster that resembles the tentacled offspring of Godzilla and the Dune Sandworm.

Blanchett stars as Lilith, a cool bounty hunter with killer cheekbones, bright red frills (think Run Lola Run with a comb) and a quick trigger finger that makes quick work of troublemakers. Against her better judgement, she’s coerced by shady corporate boss Atlas (Edgar Ramirez) – or rather, his glitched hologram – to head to Pandora. Her mission: to rescue Atlas’ missing teenage daughter, Tiny Tina (a pre-Barbie Ariana Greenblatt), who Atlas claims has been kidnapped by his security detail.

“This place is awful,” Lilith says upon arrival, “and I should know. I was born here.” That means there are a lot of bad associations and unresolved issues at play, but don’t expect any psychological depth or real human emotion from this script.

Lilith tries to shake him off, but ends up captured by Claptrap, an annoying one-wheeled junkyard robot voiced by Jack Black, who utters the ominous line, “I’m programmed for humor.” The rascally droid’s data soon leads her to Tina, a wrecker with an infinite supply of dirty stuffed rabbits rigged to explode. The bounty hunter just wants to get the girl and get the hell out of there, but her mission turns out not to be that easy.

Tiny Tina is less annoying than Claptrap, but she makes me miss Chloe Grace Moretz in Kick-Ass. She teams up with rogue soldier Roland (Kevin Hart) and Krieg (Florian Munteanu), a semi-illiterate hulk wearing a gas mask, to act as her protectors. When they stop trying to kill Lilith, the band of misfits escapes together from Commander Knox (Janina Gavankar) and her rogue squad, the Crimson Lance.

They get contact information from Moxxi, the owner of a bar in Sanctuary City that’s styled as a “sexy Mad Hatter’s Tea Party,” and it’s reasonably fun to watch Gina Gershon play the part of Mae West with a dash of Crystal Connors thrown in.

Next to join the group is eccentric alien archaeologist Tanis (Jamie Lee Curtis), who then serves mainly as a warner when something bad is about to happen, though she does serve a purpose in showing Lilith a drawing the bounty hunter made as a child of Firehawk, the flame-winged Eridian goddess that’s practically heralded as a highlight of the final battle.

If all this sounds like a cheesy Guardians of the Galaxy grafted onto Mad Max territory with a dash of Star Wars thrown in, that’s because it is, with a dingy visual aesthetic that never really feels very lifelike. Pursued by Knox and clearly destined for a showdown with Atlas, whose relationship with Tina isn’t quite what he claims it is, the fugitives engage in one gunfight after another without gaining momentum, and the messy events surrounding the search for the keys to the three safes add absolutely no suspense.

The characters remain one-dimensional, little more than cartoonish gamer avatars, so we never really get invested in their survival or their quest to get to the vault first. It also means that when lone wolf Lilith gradually develops maternal feelings for Tina and affection for her family, the emotions, despite being accompanied by literal fireworks, feel unconvincing and like a programmatic screenplay contrivance.

Ross’s cluttered storyline, enhanced by Steve Jablonski’s energetic synthesizer and orchestral score and shoddy CGI, jumps so quickly into formulaic action sequences that it gives its characters little opportunity to form any real connections.

That makes it a thankless task for the actor. Blanchett seems to love strutting around in sexy leather outfits, holstered around her waist, ready for lightning-fast gunfire. But the role is a flimsy one, cut from the familiar template of a tough, sarcastic, stoic female action figure. Hoping for more of the bombastic authority Blanchett brought to Thor: Ragnarok is unrewarding.

Hart’s natural humor is strangely muted, but that may just be because his lines aren’t funny, and Black’s voice acting is harsh and unfunny, made worse by Claptrap’s insistence on bursting into song and dance. Any comedy that relies on a robot spitting bullets after getting shot is a bad one. Blanchett and Black worked with Ross in The House with a Clock in Its Walls, so it’s not surprising that the entire cast seems poorly directed here.

It’s conceivable that longtime video game fans might get more out of Borderlands, but I wouldn’t count on it. At one point, Claptrap goes back into operational mode after an attack with heavy weapons and says, “I lost consciousness. Did something important happen?”, but that’s not the case in this movie.