The House of the Dragon scorecard is a record of the events of this week’s episode, with points being awarded to characters on a scale of 0 to 10. Points are awarded with or without a reason.
People are not happy. This is probably the biggest storyline here. It depends on where you rank the various dragon-related cliffhangers, which I’ll get to in a moment. Riots are breaking out in the city of King’s Landing. Riots caused by the Mysalia Gossip War. There are food shortages and rumors of a royal feast, ships loaded with bread and produce appear on the shore, with Rhaenyra’s flag flying above them. This is the most successful strategy in the war so far, and it’s interesting that it was carried out without a single dragon. Just whispers and sandwiches. Let’s see if the power-hungry villains in the show learn anything from this. I bet they won’t!
Elsewhere in the kingdom, Damon continues to have nightmares about the family he wronged, a plan to recruit dragon riders has… mixed results, and we’re hoping for the birth of a new power couple.
You have no idea how much self-control it took to get through two paragraphs without mentioning Hugh and the dog. I did a little yelling, which is reflected by the extensive use of capital letters below. But first, there’s something else to do. Let me hand out some points.
Rhaenyra is fed up. Tired on so many levels, and much of it has been simmering for most of this season, or maybe most of her life. Her council is still talking back to her face. Daemons are doing whatever Daemons want, and she has no idea if it’s in her best interest or not. It’s made worse by her own son telling her she needs Daemons to save the day. She’s short on both men and dragons, and her plan to improve the latter is actually making the former worse. (May the Lord rest in peace, Ser Steffon.) And now, like a rebellious teenager in the woods, an unleashed dragon is taking flight, catching mysterious riders.
It’s why she slaps people in the hallways, and why she carries a sword, and why she gives tender hugs and kisses to mysterious characters who hate Demon’s stupid face, and why she flies off on her dragon to figure things out for herself instead of relying on some brat or weirdo to ruin and complain and ruin and complain.
Is putting herself in a vulnerable position out of anger and frustration and helplessness the smartest thing she’s done this season? No. But is it understandable? Yes.
Now, speaking of royal women not doing so well, let’s take a look at Alicent.
➼ Her wicked son fires her from the council.
➼ Her foolish son is seriously injured in a dragon’s attack, and she blames herself for provoking him.
➼ Her sad daughter just keeps looking at the bird.
➼ She and her daughter were caught up in the riot and nearly died, but they managed to escape the scene in a rickety horse-drawn carriage.
➼ She asks her brother about the son she didn’t raise, and his apparent kindness makes her wonder if her other sons being terrible devils is a result of her own failure as a mother.
Aemond rules exactly as you’d expect: with cruelty, retribution against real and perceived enemies, and the arrogance that comes from a lifetime of believing he’s smarter than everyone else and wanting to prove it as soon as he gets the chance. Alicent also chastises him harshly, stroking his face and saying, “Have you not yet atoned for the humiliation of your childhood?” which is a very gentle way of saying, “Oh my goodness, get over it,” as a mother would.
He has two other problems, neither of which are easily solved.
(1) People are rioting because of a lack of food, and Mysalia and Rhaenyra’s plan to flood the city with gossip and bread is adding fuel to the fire.
(2) Well, nobody likes him, he has no allies, and his only close friends are the sex workers he just publicly despised.
I don’t think his rule will last long.
A little boy who was hurt, sad, scared, addicted to drugs, out of control since the day he was born, unable to come above the water for even 15 seconds to catch his breath.
I am so angry and I feel sorry for this little scoundrel.
Therapist: I think we should start this week with visions…
Damon: Well, nobody has sex with their mothers anymore.
Therapist: Well, that’s…
Damon: Right now, my dead brother is screaming at me and I can’t escape.
Therapist: Yeah.
Damon: But we’re making progress.
Therapist: Why?
Damon: I’m starting to hallucinate and say things I should have said in real life. Acceptance, forgiveness, apologizing, all of it. I nearly killed Simon in a delusion the other day, but I feel much better now.
Therapist: In a vision?
Damon: Yeah, that was true.
Therapist: Damon, I…
Damon: Ah, I’m glad you’re feeling better again. My only enemy is dead, and did I mention I think my favorite witch killed him?
Therapist: What?
Damon: Now I just want to finish my mission here and go home and see if I can make it work with my niece and wife.
Therapist: Didn’t you say that you heard she had visited an ex-lover whom you had been imprisoning?
Damon: (laughing) Oh man, I wish I could have spied on that conversation. Those two must hate each other!
This week, whenever Misaria and Rhaenyra were in a room together, I got a “kiss me already” vibe from them. At some points, especially in the beginning when they embraced tenderly, I wondered if I was interpreting it wrong. I thought my radar was a little off and they were just friends who grew to care deeply for each other through their shared hardships and the excitement of their recent strategic successes, and then, yes, they started kissing. Good. Good. I’m happy because I think Misaria is the coolest. Her gossip war and sandwich fleet have proven to be the zillionth most successful plan on this show, especially after half a dozen failed assassination attempts. But I’m also happy to imagine how angry Damon will be when he comes home and finds out his former lovers are flirting and making real progress in the war he’s been screwing up all this time.
I hope Rhaenyra and Misaria will sing karaoke together next week.
Have you seen it?
Did you see Hugh petting the dog?
on the road
before punching a man over a loaf of bread
He was petting the mouse-catching dog.
They are friends now
This is what I’ve always wanted
I said that last week too.
I called
Feeling very powerful
Take your dog home, Hugh.
Hugh
We are so close
I’m going to go ahead and type this out here and see if my powers are strong enough to make it happen through sheer force of will…
I need to ask for one of the wild dragons for my dog. I want to see a dog with a little helmet on the back of a dragon. Notice I don’t use the word “want” here. This is serious business.
This is one of those situations where two things are true at once. Certainly, the speech Rallys gave to Aegon about the struggles of having physical limitations and learning different ways to use them to your advantage was brilliant. As someone with a physical disability myself (spinal cord injury, wheelchair and all), I can safely say that Rallys made some pertinent and correct points that Aegon needed to hear at the worst time in his young life.
But this leads us to another truth, which is that Rarith is a manipulative snake, and there’s no way he would have said this at Aegon’s bedside before Aemond laughed at him in front of the Council and stripped him of his influence. The mood here is more “let me curry favor with another authority figure in case he recovers” than “let me mentor this person’s suffering, whose suffering I empathize with.”
In other words, the message is good, but perhaps the deliverer is not the right one.
He made me laugh by giving Aymond a nasty little look, which was probably the most useful thing he’s done this season. I think 4 points is fair.
I’ll be furious if we’re not heading towards a situation where Rayna, the forgotten sister who was banished to look after toddlers and baby dragons alongside her older sister who rides a dragon named Moondancer, starts riding wild dragons she finds on her walks.
I’m sure the focus should be on Corliss making Arryn his lieutenant, but all I can think of is the scene where he’s standing next to Rhaenyra’s council table while he’s getting pinned. That table is really cool, especially when it’s lit with candles like this. I’d love to get an exact replica and put it in my dining room. Me and a few friends would eat lo mein, stir fry, etc. at this giant gnarled war table during Phillies games. Sounds fun.
Leave your mom alone, boy! She’s doing her best!
Few characters in the history of television are more deserving of a trip to Six Flags. Give her a day pass, let her ride the rollercoasters, eat some funnel cake, and even bring the birdcage if she wants.
On the one hand, it would be cool to see Adam riding Seasmoke, because I like the idea of Rhaenyra flipping through the history books looking for a suitable rider and then the dragon accidentally coming across Adam in the woods.
On the other hand, the show has a long history of younger siblings who have never been able to handle power despite craving it their whole lives, and I would be sad if Adam ruined this.
Oh, Arryn’s bald because he shaves his head every day to hide the blonde hair that identifies him as a secret Velaryon. That’s it. Kinda sad for Arryn. And it’s a lot of work. I want him to be happy.
I like that so far, Simon’s only role in the show is to wake Damon up scared and get yelled at for things he didn’t do. He just wants to hang out in a leaky castle and eat dinner. He doesn’t want any of this. Give Simon a little pampering.
Right now I can almost hear you sitting there looking at the screen and saying: “How can you give a score of 8 to a guy whose only contribution to the show was getting flambéed by a dragon, getting his throat slit, and dying as painlessly as possible?”
Now, consider this…
Nearly every knight on the show eventually meets a tragic end, but “attempting to ride a dragon” is the best exit any knight could ever hope for. It really does have that “take a dare or leave” energy about Sir Steffon. At the very least, it’s more like “take a dare or be burned alive and slit your own throat.” But that doesn’t ring true. You get what I mean.
Good for Sir Stephon. It didn’t work out, but I respect that he tried.
Gwaine was cool and kind this week. It was weird. I don’t think I liked him that much. Let Freddie Fox do the cooking.
This week we learned three important things about Alice:
➼ She is real and not a figment of Damon’s imagination.
➼ She might have killed Tully to save him.
➼ She can summon an owl to land on her arm, which is ridiculously cool.
I love her. I want to go to karaoke with Leinira and Misaria. I think she can sing any Stevie Nicks song perfectly.
Misaria: 46
Rhaenyra Targaryen: 37.5
Rhaenys Targaryen: 32.5
Jacaeris Velaryon: 32
Baela Targaryen: 31
Hugh the Scorpion Maker: 30
Laris Strong: 27
Corlys Velaryon: 27
Mousetrap dog: 27
Helena Targaryen: 26
Witch Alice: 25
Alicent Hightower: 22
Simon Strong: 22
Arin: 21
Sylvie: 18
Rhayna Targaryen: 15
Aegon Targaryen: 8
Stephon Darklin: 8
Oscar Tully: 7
Gwaine Hightower: 7
Eric Cargill: 6
Arik Kargil: 6
Wolf: 6
Adam: 5
Otto Hightower: 4
Aemond Targaryen: 4
Variety of Rat Catcher Assassins: 0
Daemon Targaryen: 0
Christon Cole: -485
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