In our house, we have a “I have a cat” rule: if one of our two cats sits on your lap, you no longer have to do anything. Everyone else in the house has to serve you until the cat leaves.
This rule is not written anywhere, and we didn’t actively make it a rule, it just became a rule because when Princess Nala is comfortable and being held, no one wants to disturb her.
Apparently, our family isn’t the only one with rules like this. Most families have unspoken household rules that might feel weird when others “enforce” them. That’s why, when someone on Reddit asked, “Do you have any unspoken rules in your household that seem weird to an outsider?” people gave fun, entertaining, and sometimes useful examples.
Here are some of the best ones.
The “loud noise” and “I’m fine” rules
If you know you are going to make a loud noise, for example dropping a heavy bag down the stairs, you have to yell “loud noise” to warn everyone that the noise is coming,
If you make a loud noise unexpectedly, you have to yell “It’s okay” and no one will come running, or they won’t come running if you’re not okay. By the way, this rule came about because my grandpa dropped a toilet on his finger.”
“Any loud noise coming from the shower or tub should be quickly followed by ‘Oh crap,’ ‘Damn it,’ ‘Damn it!’ and then the sound of a shower spraying to prove movement.
If you don’t approve it, you’ll have external parties asking, ‘Are you OK?'”
Rules to avoid washing dishes
“This is my mother’s house. Anyone wearing a long-sleeved shirt is exempt from washing dishes.”
“The rule was that once the dishwasher (one of us kids; the actual dishwasher was used as a storage place for go-cups because Mom believed the dishwasher was bad at washing dishes) had washed all the dishes cleared from the table and turned the water off, they were no longer responsible for any further dishes. This meant that the dishwasher in charge would rush to wash the dishes and the slow eaters would rush to put their food away. “Haha, you idiot! The water’s turned off!” was a common cry to hear as a child.
“Whether it’s not feeling like cleaning the kitchen after dinner, leaving trash in the living room, or whatever the circumstances, I’m obliged to declare, ‘Who closed the door last night?!’ And then I blame it on the baby.”
The empty roll of paper towels is handed to the dog, and it is appropriately announced.
“When it’s time to use the last paper towel in the roll, I take a cardboard tube, yell ‘thud’ into it, then give it to my dog who will come running and rip off the paper towel!”
“We call them cardboard bones, but we have to give them some notice through the cardboard before we give them to the dog.”
“As kids, we would blow into it like a trumpet because it would excite the dog like crazy. Then we would ‘whack’ the dog on the back with it, which would excite the dog even more. Then we would give it to the dog to destroy.”
You have to pay a dog tax. Photo by Karolina Kaboompics/Pexels
Dog tax must be paid
“If you take ice out of the freezer for any reason, you have to pay the ice tax on your dog.”
“We have to pay the ice tax and the cheese tax. It’s cruel.”
“We have a peanut butter tax and a cheese tax in our house. My dog gets so excited about the cheese tax that he comes running from anywhere in the house if he hears any kind of noise like plastic rustling in the fridge.”
“There’s an ice tax, a cheese tax, a popcorn tax, a pepper tax. These taxes are brutal!”
Meows back whenever you want
“If a cat meows, meow back. It’s rude not to reply.”
“When I talk to my friend’s cat, I can tell by the tone of the cat’s voice that I’m really talking to him. Lol It’s so fun and I never get bored. I always keep talking to my cat until I know that he’s bored of talking 😆”
“This is the only way I can get my cat to stop meowing at meowing. If I ignore her she keeps meowing. If I stand up to see what she wants she just looks at me. If I meow back a few times she comes into the room with me and hangs out with me.”
If I told you the exact location, but I had to go find it…
“If you tell me you can’t find it after I tell you the exact location, I’ll walk over there and if I find it in the exact spot I said I would, I’ll hit you with it.”
“This is also a rule in my house, which led to this exchange.
“Mom, I need your help finding something!”
“Okay, but if I find it soon, I’ll hit you with it!”
“Don’t worry about it, I’ll find the scissors myself.”
“I started charging the kids a $5 agency fee each time.”
The winner is a winner! Photo from Pixabay/Pexels
The winner of the game cleans up
“The winner of a board game is responsible for cleaning up the game.”
“My family did this too! It’s a great way to minimize the drama of a competition because the winner gets to show off their victory while they clean up, and the rest of us get to show off that we don’t have to clean up.”
“This is so much better than the tradition of me and my siblings actively making a mess while singing, ‘Loser picks it up!'”
We have grown into a civilized people, but with this rule we would have been on that path sooner.”
“The real competition is making it clear you can win, but forcing someone else to clean up after you instead.”
It’s your job to complain and give unsolicited advice.
“When someone volunteers to do a chore, no one should tell him or her to do it differently unless there is a risk of harm. If someone gives unsolicited advice without any active intention to help, the work belongs to the person who gave the unsolicited advice.”
“If more people tried to adopt this mindset even just a little, a lot of families would be happier. Sure, weaponizing incompetence does happen, and it’s confusing when people do it, but often it’s just different priorities or preferences. My spouse folds towels differently than I do. In our case, it has no impact, so why should I complain about them over something so innocuous and stress them out for no reason?”
The cat lap rule seems to be universal. Photo: Andrew Cota/Pexels
Sorry, I can’t, I have a cat.
“If you have a cat on your lap and you want to get something from the kitchen, someone else has to get it for you. Don’t disturb the cat.”
“When I was growing up, I had as many as seven cats at one time, and everyone would often have a cat on their lap, so the youngest cat would always be the one chosen to move in. The older cats had great privileges.”
“We call it the ‘cat rule’ but there have been sub-rules over the years – for example, you can’t have the cat rule on your lap more than three times in one session 😂.”
“We call it ‘cat lethargy.'”
“We call it the ‘prime directive’: don’t disturb a sleeping cat.”
“We call it ‘divine law’ 😂 Our cat only shows affection on her own terms, so when she cuddles up to us it’s a very special moment.”
“We call it Cat Paralysis and we love seeing everyone’s names for this rule!”
And these are just extras for fun…
“Our old Great Dane, Bandit, sits on the far right cushion of the orange couch. Without exception, that’s his spot, even if you ask him to move.”
“Sometimes my cat brings a ball into the room and meows really loudly. As soon as she drops the ball, everyone in the house has to clap and say ‘Yay!!’ It’s a rule.”
“If you use kitchen tongs, you should perform an OSHA-approved test click to ensure they work.”
“In our house, we have an unspoken rule that you have to perform a full interpretive dance routine to earn the right to use the TV remote. It keeps the peace and provides nightly entertainment.”
“Before you read your fortune cookie, you have to choose a topic: ‘This is about my new job.’ Many of life’s big decisions have been made this way.
The indoor spider is named Franklin. The outdoor spider is named Fronklin. They’re all good boys.”
